How shocked was I to hear her outside one day, yelling “Mommy, I want cock… I want cock, Mommy!” Oh dear… I went outside asking “WHAT did you just say?? And the ABC’s had ELEMELOPEE in them… These posts are hilarious! Quick (drink) The above was said in the middle of a crowded department store when one of my boys heard what he thought was an ice cream truck. My son says crut instead of truck ..quwimming instead of swimming its so cute . 6-yr-old also says “calcucator” for “calculator”, and used to say my favorite – “hang-guh-burger” for hamburger. ... has been experiencing sexual attraction towards prepubescent children: orphaned male toddlers. Shit down (sit down) . My youngest used to call popcorn “porn”. My mom grabbed the front of his pants and said “What is this? She said it all the time & no amount of correcting her changed the way she said it. Confused look from child. sure there’s many more to come as he grows lol, My 2.5 year old says POOP PASTE too. I don’t like peanuts—they make me sick!”. My 11 yr old used to say “hang-gerber” instead of hamburger. If I corrected her she would tell me “that’s what MY said!” I miss the mispronounciations. You could nearly sum up half the Bible’s lessons in a few words. extrasizie = exercise. I think it’s hilarious as well. One of my favorite toddlerisms from Vivian. Awesome! Just know, I didn’t say any of these things. My mom let this continue for entirely too long. Thanks for including that, it made me smile when I saw it :). ), check out Mommy Shorts on facebook. I started watching my language after that! Common Spanish Words and Phrases to Start a Conversation (and Keep It Going) Of course, you can’t expect to have some small talk without knowing some Spanish greetings. Cock-it – Chocolate But she insisted her freckle was a n—-r for a while. Squirrel Gouts = Girl Scouts These are all priceless – thanks for the post! My friend’s daughter says callipitter instead of caterpillar. These are funny, but nothing beats the Focks. “Mommy, I want porn!I love porn! My 2 y/o calls the computer a “pin-qu-ter” He is actually really good with pronunciation which makes it a little more fun for us to hear him get it wrong. Hilarious post . “Oh, you mean HORROR!” “Yeah, that’s what I said! The toddlers have not been allowed to make contact with the earth and they take their first steps outside (sometimes with a little assistance from an adult) during the Walking Out Ceremony. Not my, um, you know. Your email address will not be published. Thank you for getting Trace’s in there. My son says poon for spoon too! Please select whether I bother you once a day or once a week. She now (age 4.5) correctly pronounces her name and the word freckle. Yogurk (yogurt) My almost 3 year old says Hoopa Loop for Hula Hoop. Another good one is flamingos. What is this?” (Meaning the wet pants) My brother looked her dead in the eye and said “My peanuts and my popsicles!” “Mommy are we going to take the Alligator?”, My daughters, princess = penis Recommended Grade Group: Grades 3-5 Number of Awards We’re currently enjoying “cack” for “cake”. And my daughter yells die on the top of her lungs whenever she says bye. Honestly isn’t it the better name? I was sad when he did, as I will be when all of these get “fixed”. All the butchered words depicted below are actual mispronunciations that were submitted by moms of actual toddlers. My husband loves superheros and when our oldest daughter was around three, she would pronounce Captain America as Captain Amegina. My oldest boy can’t say bridge, it always sounds like “b*tch”! She also had her own version of America the Beautiful wherein “God Spread His Grease on Me”. Zwebras = zebras My oldest, then about 3, informed her daddy as he was getting her ready for bed one night that she had a nig–r as she pointed to a freckle. . My mom, two older sisters, all butchered by Ben. But because I blog their entire lives, I recently wrote a post with their mis-sayings on what gets lost in translation: http://www.streamdoubletrouble.com/2013/06/17/lost-in-translation/. While at the zoo recently the tour guide was telling us about antelope, and my 3 year old son looked up at me and asked, “Antelope or Cantaloupe?” Obviously we eat the melon more often than we see the antelope…, my 3 year old daughter calls “boogers” “noogers.” And she calls hello kitty “titty titty!”. and my 2 year old (all girls) calls hamburgers “hanky-boogers”, oh, and we had a Boxer named Phoenix that all of our children, nieces and nephews have called “Penis”, Oh! Now I’m the crazy lady who laughs at her phone in Starbucks. My favorite… Asserbees = raspberries, My oldest would tell the doctor to use the BOY-oscope not the OTTER-scope to examine his ears. Kinda hard when you’re in a very quiet office!! 1) this isn’t a word we use 2) it’s the word tits. My nephew had some good ones when he was little.. They were 18 months and really trying to use and combine new words. Faffles = waffles My stepson used to make him say all their names over and over again. I hope it’s filled with BOOBIE MANCAKES! My husband and I got the best laugh tonight. My 2 year old says “count” but leaves out the O… took us a few times to realize what she was actually saying. She said “A DUMB FUCK!” Now, back in the 70’s that isn’t quite as funny as it is today…more like MORTIFYING as my Mom tells it…(though I suppose it should be for us now as well…) Anyway, suffice it to say, she got a dump truck for her birthday and was delighted with it. Mliwk = Milk So stinking cute. Thanks for posting this! Turned out to be the lady in front of us with a ringing cell phone! My sister has always tried to get my nephew to have “good snacks” rather than treats. Antonia Hoyle was left shell-shocked when her family managed to hatch 14 chicks from quail eggs they had purchased from Marks & Spencer last month as part of a lockdown experiment. Thanks for the giggle! Required fields are marked *. Can I see your flowery box?” The rest are more a miss use of a word, he’ll push his shoe’s & socks off, tell you to ‘go on’ instead of ‘come on’ (when your supposed to follow him) Turns out she was thinking she was saying “be careful.” We had some fun at dads baseball games when them umpire would make really bad calls. !’, ToyRus is ToysArrest, biscuit is bisskix, Starbucks is starbugs – and there is an epic one I’m forgetting at the moment. My son used to call basketball poop ball aka hoop ball. Because it has a floral print on it. My 4 year old says “cock” for “chalk”. Pepperoni = Pecker-roni!! You would not believe how many people wear blue. Out to dinner the other night my 2 year old picked the wine cork up of the table and starte yelling as only toddlers do, “Cock, Cock!” Of course in a small quiet restaurant. Considering we don’t say that word in this household and to me the two sound nothing alike, I have no idea why she called it that. That's awesome! And nursing in our house is “nah” so cononut milk is “coco-nah”. Almonds as "SALMONS" is one of my favorites. Bwahahahahahaha at Mickey Mouse Crackhouse. Horse = hor and Clock = cock. My 20 month old says Bull shit for blue shirt. With a recent heatwave in our area we had to pull out the fan for my daughter’s room. Just can’t get her to grasp it. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? Featuring a wooden inlay and sturdy construction, giving it a vintage feel, this book is sure to delight while teaching an appreciation for both music and together time. I almost spit my coffee out onto my computer screen, I’m tickled that “strawbabies” made the list! She can’t do double conesenents. My Man’s last name is Fox, as is the last name of our kids. “Oh, you mean HORROR!”. I have one: We use nutritional yeast on toast, popcorn, etc. Good luck studying! My son used to say ‘baby soup’ for bathing suit also. You'd like to get my newsletter! I always love what your FB fans comes up with. The others? Whore!” Dead silence from my husband and I. my 22 month old is saying two words I have quite deciphered yet but they sound exactly like “dick” and C U Next Tuesday – not sure if I should type that. Funny, thanks for the early morning laugh. Ellen, Mine still calls oatmeal “opium” and we race each other to get our shoes on. I will be sad when she is finally able to pronounce everything correctly! My nieces used to always call me Dodo = Jody, My little guy 18mo says “memis” for “penis”. So funny! My best guess is that there is no space between the words when the wee bern says it aloud. All I can think of is the game Duck Hunt lol. Bubba and Daddy have a penis, and baby Asher has a “jina”. When my son was 3 (he’s 5 now), I made a list of some of my favorite mispronunciations of his… I would particularly recommend the very trilogy that was so badly butchered by this monstrosity (Jedi Academy, by Kevin Anderson), The Courtship of Princess Leia, or the Heir to the Empire Trilogy. Photos of youths butchered by suspected herdsmen in Plateau State. My son used to call goldfish crackers BULLSHIT. My almost-3-year old calls Mickey Mouse Clubhouse “Mickey Mouse Crackhouse.” We also eat at “restanauts” and he calls Chick-Fil-A “Chick Away.” Love all of these…, Haha I love this. Toddlers are adorable. The only one left, I’d fingered him as the murderer. Great job. My 2 year old niece calls coffee “fucky”. Especially about things they can’t control, like the name they were given by their parents.. Sausage without the first ‘s’ becomes ahhshit. A list of 900+ essential, high frequency words for the GRE. Amy Johnson – Indiana Jones One of the most popular words in Spanish is “ hola ” which means “ hi ” or “ hello ”. Completely laughed out loud at this! For my daughter it has advance to ‘mingos but for a long time it was fingernails. Duke calls clementines “bobotines” for unknown reason. When I was a preschool teacher I had a kid ask me during lunch if he could eat his “dookie.” trying to hold back laughs, I tried asking him again what he wanted to eat and he kept saying “dookie.” finally he pulled out his cookie from his lunch box. Words My Toddler Butchered by chicanamama in Mama Life , Parenting Post Comment So Kabil has been speaking for about a year now and every month he has a new batch of vocabulary added to his arsenal to communicate his needs and desires. She ran around target yesterday saying “bull shit” every minute or so. Every morning my 4 year old still asks for “Beast on toast” and I laugh. All the way there, August kept saying “Booshit Henwi( Henry is his twin brother). pepmo gizmo = Pepto Bismol Even when he’s not around. ” You know – the movies that are scary for me!” Hubby and I break into peals of laughter ( after huge sighs of relief!) Sit – a – man = Cinnamon, Oreos were “black cookies” for the longest time at our house , For the longest time my daughter would say she wanted “black chips” for Lay’s BBQ chips. Commented Sep 24, 2013 on 22 Words Totally Butchered by Toddlers (Part 3) at Mommy Shorts. The only one left, I’d fingered him as the murderer. how funny! So the entire neighborhood got a daily greeting from my then-2yo of “I love firefucks! My 4 year old loves Golden Delicious apples, but he calls them “Golden Yummies”. For some reason he calls computers peepee’s, until the other day, he came very close to it with ca-pooter. Mom Ilana, who runs the blog Mommy Shorts, asked her readers for words their kids have butchered … We have “mingo” and “printzels” at our house instead of mango and pretzels. Here’s a warning not to let your child play with Siri on your iPhone! One day in the car my daughter sang to Siri, “What does the fox say?” in a funny voice and Siri misunderstood her…Siri replied, “Now, now!” in a scolding tone. I don’t really try to correct her cuz its so damn funny. Sleeping Beauty = Beeping Slooty We were dumbfounded when he kept asking for burritos. Baby's First Words in Chinese is designed for newborns to toddlers up to two years old. Jade, now two, has named restaurants ‘houses’ so Bob Evans is Bob’s House and Dairy Queen is the Queen’s House — so when we took her to Outback – she screams “I DO LOVE THIS OUTHOUSE! It always made me smile and crave salt. Gwingwin (penguin took me 4 weeks to work that one out) Bedtime Songs 11-Button Song Book Toddlers and preschoolers can sing along with the classic bedtime melodies in this charming songbook. My daughter used to call the rocking chair “rocky-boo,” and my sister was “Ah-Kiki” (Aunt Katy). So he said something was red, and we said, “It’s also rojo (ro-ho) can you say rojo?” He nodded and with a big grin, shouted, “Purple!”, My daughter has 2 (we have both on video, i laugh a lot at work)- one has gotten better, the other we are still working on – Fox comes out like f*ck and shrimp sounds like sh*t, Fucks (ducks) To get them even more excited, I told them we were going to see the boats and fish at the Pro Shops. Turtles had me stumped and I finally figured out that the hunks of deli meat were turtle shells! NOTE: This post will be updated if I come across another creature or entity that is not yet included in this list. Fruit pouch = POOHOSE ah memories, My 2 year old son calls cookies dookey as well lol, We were at Macy’s during a particularly busy shopping day and my brother is holding my 2yo daughter. Awww, that’s such a cute little “titty” – BAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! my now 3 year old is outgrowing some of his mispronunciations but these are still my favorites – bluebabies (blueberries), restauromp (restaurant), ban-bans (bandaids), and bijaff (giraffe). I want a BOY cheese!”, Funny you should have this post… Yesterday we spent a large portion of the day trying to figure out why McClain kept saying “Tits” over and over. Nothing better than a 1 year old yelling die on the top of her lungs with a giant smile on her face! During a car trip, my mom and I spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out what my 2 year old nephew was gleefully shouting in the backseat. Oh, I have 3 times the fun with this one. My older sister (now in her 40s) was asked by our grandfather what she wanted for her 4th birthday. I have a couple blush-inducing mispronounciations to add courtesy my little girl: So now anytime we’re in public and he spots one, he points and excitedly yells: “Cock!! Oh, and Fuck n Socks instead of Fox in Socks. She usually speaks clearly but also calls a mirror a “moo.” My almost-6-yr-old calls it a “murr,” which I think is an artifact of their growing up in Philly. It's music by kids for kids, with youngsters churning out "family friendly" versions of today's biggest pop hits. My *favorite* though, was when my little one was nursing. Other flowery box. After a few minutes she started saying “fuck you fuck you” I freaked out!! *sigh*. He’s 36 now and we STILL tell that story! Then it became stick-a-lish and now it is finally licorice (most of the time). My four year old calls caterpillars “pappetillers” and grasshoppers are “grasscoppers”. My twins have so many word hiccups, but my favorite was the following little ditty. Picture us sitting around having a nice family dinner last December. My 2 year old daughter asks us for “nik-a-peas” (milk please). Finally, after around 2 weeks of him begging for the burritos in the cabinet, he climbed up the counter to get them himself. I have a video as well. (Cause my name is Bernard still. One morning I said to my daughter; your britches are too big. Baa Baa Black shit = Baa Baa Black sheep. LOL ^_^. Have a great weekend, friends. Cwie-tit (cry-tit) – quiet If you have a child who can read, I would bookmark this page and save it for later, after he or she is in bed. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. People always laugh when she yells “Cock shit”. skittles are called shitles and popcorn is pop porn at our house. Nursing was ‘mems’ and she would stand in front of me and “mem-mem-mem-mem” when she was hungry, and my name was Mem-ah. Hoods (like on a sweater) is a HOOG as in “Mimi I need my hoog on” Big fish!” which comes out as “Big Bitch! Accident = Ass-uh-dent My newphews used to say Crapped in instead of Captian. Bap-kack = backpack (and used to be pack-pack “fuck” instead of “truck”…walking down the road by the fire station yelling “fire fuck”! lol. I wanted to take my boys to Bass Pro Shops last Spring to see the Easter Bunny. And then I had to let my bosses read the article so they could understand why I was laughing so much, My daughter was eating MANGO, which she loves and asked “Why isn’t it pink anymore?” Turns out, she thought she was eating dead FLAMINGO – or FLAMANGO, My 3 yr old son doesn’t pronounce the letter “s” yet, so suckers are “fuckers.” When he was littler, stickers were “dicks.”. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! 50 Funny Mispronounced Words By Kids Who Might Need Extra English Lessons Check out our top 50 funniest mispronounced words by kids who have not quite got … My oldest used to call peanut butter “pee-dutter”, OIL DOOKEY = Oreo cookie I was rushing ahead of them when all of a sudden my toddler yells, “Mommy, wipe your ass!”. This is freaking hilarious. My nephew could not say the ‘st’ sounds so he said a ‘d’ instead so we would hear: In prison, Meiwes became a vegetarian. My toddler can’t seem to say the “s” at the beginning of some words and she says a “p” instead. Needless to say, her butchered phrase is “Big fish! At a family party she loudly asked ‘Mommy can I play with cock? . Noodles = Noonals Below are 21 butchered words that I culled together from about 175 comments. Vigging womb = living room My neice called lipstick, “lip dicks” for the longest time. My son, who loves pork n’ beans, was so excited when he saw the beans on his plate that he began screaming “Fuckin beans, fuckin beans!” Needless to say, everyone turned to look at the 2 year old cursing in church. We’ll be in the middle of a store and she’ll see a clock and yell, “Cock, mommy, COCK!” LOL!!! Love those cute words they come up with! Look, Mommy, a big, big cock! Love, love, love these posts, I cry from laughing so hard! My 2 yr old also says dick-oo-lous for ridiculous. Ass-capaders – escalators lol). We also spot “cocks” at the store all the time with my toddler. (You can find them here and here and here.) As always, the real words are pictured with the mispronunciation written in white. Cutest ever. You know. Black fuck on dick”.. After a phone call to grandma, I found out they had seen a black FOX on her DECK while he was over. Sausage said by a toddler is translated into Awe Sh!t! They have a lot of big cocks! So many readers commented both under the post and on my fanpage with stories about the funny words their kids say incorrectly that I had to do something with them. And I wish I could upload video of my daughter saying “big truck”… although anybody else would have heard “biiiiggg cock”. Hahah don’t know where that came from especially since they don’t know how to speak English yet! “Mommy, tuck me in with my comfortable.” It was adorable and I was sad when he stopped. But my current favorite is pull-nozer for bulldozer! Cocks = clocks. my son says dickless for ridiculous. Also her favorite teething food was “shee dicks” (cheese sticks). Not too long after that someone cut my mom off in traffic and the same nephew chimed in with “Play chicken, Granna.” We were pretty sure he didn’t understand the concept of playing chicken while driving so we turned again to his brother who explained what he meant was “Pay attention, Granna.”, I should have sent one in! 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